


Light of the Moon

by Lunas_Secret_Lover



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cute, Draco is probably gay too, F/F, Femslash, Lunsy, Pana, Pansy is misunderstood, Slash, angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:38:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8405530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunas_Secret_Lover/pseuds/Lunas_Secret_Lover
Summary: Pansy Parkinson is back at Hogwarts to complete her final year.  Alliances change in the new world, and suddenly Luna Lovegood finds herself at the forefront of Pansy's life. (Explicit stuff in chapter 5, rest is M rating)





	1. Trains

Pansy Parkinson was not at all excited to start her last year of school. After being told that the year before would not be counted for credit because little besides dark magic had been taught, she had made the decision to finish her education so that her dream of becoming an alchemist could be realized. Unfortunately, that meant dealing with everyone who saw her as a traitor and a death eater because she had the gall to be a Slytherin. It would be far worse now, she knew. Especially after her terrified outburst about giving Potter over to the Dark Lord near the end of term. It seemed impossible that a group of a few hundred students could defeat one of the greatest wizards of all time, not to mention his army, and handing over one man, in her mind, would have been worth the sacrifice if it meant the rest of the students could live. If it meant she could live. Pansy was honestly surprised that no one else had spoken up out of self preservation. Was martyrdom a common trait these days? She sighed and sunk back into the cushioned train seats. The door to her compartment opened, and Draco Malfoy took a seat across from her. 

“Parkinson,” he said neutrally. He looked so much older than he had a year ago. His gray eyes were tired, and his once gleaming blonde hair looked limp, even though it was combed back into its usual neat style. 

“Draco,” she returned. “I didn’t know you’d be coming back this year.”

“Well, you know. Even a Death Eater needs to have a complete education in this day and age. One must be prepared for more than just the destruction of muggles.” His tone was bitter. She wondered if he was upset at the death of the Dark Lord. He had served faithfully at You Know Who’s side for two years after all. 

“Is Goyle coming back this year?” 

“No. Goyle is too thick to want to do anything as dull as another year of school,” Draco said, the ghost of his former smirk bright on his face. 

Through the glass door of the compartment, Pansy saw Granger and the Weasley girl approaching. Granger’s eyes were bright as she discussed who knows what with her companion. Pansy met her eyes for a moment, and could have sworn Granger gave her a small smile and a nod. 

She stared hungrily at the brunette’s retreating back. How could a mudblood be so beautiful? Granger had a small sway to her hips as she walked, and her long bushy hair bounced and wove through the air as if by its own accord. 

“Still harboring a crush on Granger?” Draco teased, that almost-smirk on his face again. 

He was one of the only ones who knew her secret. They had dated for a while during fifth year. Pansy was drawn to him because of his status and his looks. They were a good match, as two attractive purebloods. Her parents would be so proud. It seemed like she could make things work with him for a while, if she pushed the intrusive thoughts of women out of her brain. She didn’t love snogging him but she learned to tolerate it. They had even slept together, for months and she didn’t mind it. Sometimes she had enjoyed it, even, but there was something in the back of her mind that was deeply unsatisfied. She noticed every girl around her: the way they moved, the way their breasts shook when they breathed, their smell. Pansy had convinced Draco to bring another woman into the bedroom for a night, thinking that if a man was there as well, it would be alright for her to indulge in her secret shame. Of course after that night, it was very obvious to both her and Draco that she couldn’t go on dating him. She had been surprised at how accepting Draco was at her decision. He wasn’t the most tolerant of men in general. She suspected that he had his own secrets, and it was easier for him to deal with hers.

“Granger isn’t that bad anymore,” Draco continued, “Straight as hell, of course. But the war is over. Who knows? Maybe Slytherins and Gryffindors don’t have to hate each other as much as they used to. They didn’t always, you know. My father said that before Voldemort came to power, many purebloods were in Gryffindor.” Pansy flinched a little at the mention of “Voldemort.” It wasn’t like Draco to call him that. 

“She’s a mudblood, and it’s disgusting that I even find her attractive,” Pansy snapped back at him.

“Whatever happened to Ari?” Draco asked. He seemed determined to steer the conversation towards her love life and away from topics like going back to school, and those who would not be returning.

“Ari and I were just fucking,” Pansy returned. “When she transferred to Beauxbaton, we stopped fucking and thus stopped talking.” 

That wasn’t entirely true, of course. Pansy had loved the younger Slytherin with a passion that she had never felt before. Touching her had sent shocks of electricity up her arms. Falling asleep on her chest had made her feel more safe than she had ever felt before. But Ari transferred at the beginning of the war. And she met someone else at school, someone who cared less about blood status, less about concealing things which were shameful. She shattered Pansy’s heart in 136 words. 

“I see.” Draco turned away, and pulled out a book. They spent the rest of the train ride in a comfortable silence. When they arrived, Pansy pulled her large trunks to her side, and headed towards the carriages. The thestrals pulling the carriages looked smaller than usual, as if they too had felt the effects of the war and shriveled up. Draco had gone off to join other friends, and Pansy was alone. 

“Hello! Mind if I join you?” Pansy startled, and looked over towards the voice. Luna Lovegood stared up at her, a friendly smile on her face. “This is my favorite thestral. I cured him of a bad case of intremites a few years back.”

“Alright,” Pansy said, hesitantly.”What’s an intremite?” Luna clambered up and sat right next to her. 

“You know! A creature that flutters around your eyes and makes them water so they can feast off your tears,” Luna explained. The Ravenclaw was so strange. Her long blonde hair hung in a tangled mess down to her waist. Her radish earrings shimmered in the lanternlight. 

“I do hope there aren’t many at Hogwarts this year. I don’t like giving anyone the satisfaction of my tears. You’re Pansy Parkinson. Your family was involved in some very bad things during the war,” she stated, matter of factly. 

“Yes I am. Many of my family chose the wrong side of the war and paid the price. Most of them are in Azkaban or dead.” Pansy herself had never made any agreements with the Dark Lord. But neither had she helped the resistance. She had chosen the true Slytherin path of waiting to see who would be the most powerful, then act as if she supported them the whole time. And she hated herself for it.

“I lost friends in the war too. I’m sorry about your family,” Luna said, reaching out to squeeze Pansy’s hand. She drew her hand back in surprise, gazing at the extraordinary girl beside her. 

“Thank you, Looney-err, Luna.” She was surprisingly touched by the Ravenclaw’s words.

“We are going to be friends,” Luna said decisively, not giving Pansy a choice in the matter. Although she found she didn’t mind.


	2. Kisses

The chatter in the great hall was more subdued than normal. Pansy looked around the hall and noticed how empty it was. Particularly the Slytherin table. Many pureblood families had gone into hiding after the war, fleeing the country in shame. There were only a few Slytherins that weren’t first years. There were many notable absences at the other tables as well. In total, the student population was about two thirds of what it had been two years ago. The professors wore forced smiles plastered to their faces in between bites of food, yet another reminder of how much everything had changed. The new defense against the dark arts professor was a thin, nervous looking man with glasses that dwarfed his face. She was reminded of Quirrel for a moment, and shuddered involuntarily. 

Across the Hall, she caught Luna’s eye. The blonde girl gave her a broad smile and a wave, which Pansy half-heartedly returned. She still wasn’t sure why someone like Luna wanted to talk to someone like her. It was suspicious. The food disappeared, and McGonnagal rose to the podium to address the students.

“Welcome back, again, students. A few reminders for the term. All students in their final year at Hogwarts should schedule a meeting with the heads of their houses for a career advising appointment. First years should note that the Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds, with no exceptions,” she gave a stern look around the hall. “Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you that the list of banned items now includes all Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes products. Pigmy Puffs are excepted from this rule. I would also like to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Devenport.” 

The new professor jumped a little at his name, then gave a small nod to the hall. 

Professor McGonagall continued a little stiffly, “I would also like to express my condolences to all students who have suffered the losses of family and friends on both sides of the war. And to remind everyone that practice of the Dark Arts, in any form, are strictly prohibited. Thank you all, and I wish you an excellent term.” With that, she sat down and chatter resumed in the hall. The prefects rose to lead first years to their houses, and the older students began to meander towards their dormitories. Luna hurried up behind her, catching her arm as she walked. Pansy slowed down, slightly apprehensive as the strange girl held onto her arm and guided her to the exit. Her arm grew warm under Luna’s touch, despite herself. Apparently she had been single for so long that even the touch of a strange, lunatic of a girl could get to her. She blushed slightly, but didn’t pull her arm away. There was nothing wrong with enjoying a friendly gesture, after all, she thought. She would not get many of those this year.

Once they reached the exit, and the flow of students ebbed, Luna pulled her aside to the large hour glasses that contained the house points. 

“Did you notice the new DA’s head was full of nargles? It’ll be amazing if he’s able to teach anyone with his brain that fuzzy,” Luna said, solemnly. 

“Luna, why are you talking to me?” Pansy asked. She wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was honestly curious about why someone like Luna would want to speak to the daughter of a deatheater and a pureblood who had both spoken of the evils of mixing blood, and the glory of the dark lord. The thought of her father gave her a small pang of sadness. And relief. Her father had been a terrible, cruel man, but he was still her father, and she did have fond memories of him. Even if they were from long ago.

“You’re interesting,” Luna said,dreamily, “And smart and pretty. You may not be very kind but I like interesting people.” Pansy’s heart leaped at the mention of pretty. But she knew she couldn’t give away her secrets to someone who in all likelihood was still an enemy.

“Pretty, huh, Lovegood? What are you, queer?” she sneered, trying her best to channel the spirit of prewar Draco Malfoy. Luna smiled a little, a knowing look in her eyes.

“Only as queer as you are.” Pansy gave her a hard look at that. Was it possible that Lovegood had somehow found out her secret? She had been so careful. No. it was impossible. She was only trying to get Pansy on her toes so that she would give away secrets about her parents, or Draco, or someone else that the bloody Order of the Phoenix was still after.

“Right,” Pansy said, still a little nonplussed. 

“I was wondering if you’d like to go feed the bowtruckles with me sometime? They love fruits, or anything, really, that isn’t the normal tree bugs they eat.”

“Erm, alright. I’m free tomorrow after Herbology if that works for you.” Pansy wasn’t exactly sure why she’d agreed. She missed having close friends to confide in. People who sought her out specifically to talk to. And she had to admit that she like Luna a little. The girl was strange, but in a unique way that was almost endearing. Pansy couldn’t help but want to protect her. And she was mildly curious about what a nargle was. She had grown up in the wizarding world, yet never even heard of them in a fictional sense. 

“That’s nice,” Luna said, and her face moved towards Pansy’s. Pansy wasn’t sure what exactly what was happening, and leaned backwards. Luna kissed her firmly on the cheek, and skipped away, presumably in the direction of the Ravenclaw common room. Pansy touched her cheek curiously. Luna definitely seemed to be flirting with her. But again, she was probably just messing with Pansy. There was no reason to get her hopes up. Pansy slowly started down the path that would take her to the dark caverns of the dungeons, where she would be alone with her thoughts, like it or not.

=========================================================================================  
The Malfoy Manor was dark and foreboding at night, particularly during a new moon. The snow-covered hedges seemed to reach out to her, to pull her into their ranks and never let her out. Pansy shuddered and crouched down in the garden, where Draco had told her to hide. She wanted to see her father before she returned to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays, but she also did not want to be in close proximity to the Dark Lord. The pressures of joining her father in their ranks would be too much to bear, if that happened. And she didn’t want to be a death eater. Though she didn’t care at all for mudbloods or muggles, she still didn’t like what the Dark Lord’s side stood for, even in her best friend was now a part of it. Draco had snuck her into his house where many of the Death Eaters were hiding, so that she could try to find her father. She hadn’t seen him in over a year. Her mother wasn’t sure if he was even still alive, as the two lived alone with one another in the house, separated by flights of stairs and empty memories. But Draco had told her he was alive, and living in the Manor. He told her he could bring her father out to her in the garden. 

Suddenly, Pansy heard footsteps on the white cobblestone. They echoed around her in a way that made it very difficult to tell where they were coming from. She peeked around a bush and her heart stopped. He Who Must Not be Named was gliding through the garden. He looked furious, with his lip curled up towards his snake-like nose, and his eyes hard and cold in the night. Behind him walked her father. He was a balding man in his late 50s. He was tall, as always, with thick, furrowed eyebrows, but his usual stern look was replaced by an expression of pure terror.

“You were to stay with Nagini and make sure the Potter boy could not escape,” The Dark Lord hissed. Her father shrank back, as He Who Must Not be Named turned to face him. 

“My lord, I left only for a moment. I returned as quickly as I could. I never would have guessed-”

“I know you never would have guessed, Parkinson,” He Who Must Not be Named muttered coldly. “That’s why you have no further use to me. Avada Kedavra!” Pansy gasped and fell back against the bushes she hid in. Silent tears streamed down her face as she stared at the body of her father. Behind her, the Dark Lord walked the other way, and could swear she heard him murmur, “Nagini, dinner.”

Pansy woke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. Ever since her father’s death, she had been forced to relive that night over and over in her dreams. Now that the Dark Lord was dead, the memories should haunt her less, but they didn’t. They were stuck to her like her family name, and her reputation as a cowardly Slytherin. She was glad that she had a room to herself now, with everyone gone. It wouldn’t do to have anyone else hear her screaming, or see her tears in the night. She glanced over at her clock. 4:15, of course. Pansy knew that any other attempts at sleep would evade her, though, so she slipped out of bed and headed down to the prefect’s bathroom the administration had forgotten to change the password of. She drew the bath with as many distracting scents and colors as she could, trying to get her mind off of everything else. She shimmied out of her robe, and felt goosebumps crawl across her pale skin in the cool air of the bathroom. She surveyed herself for just a moment in the large ornate mirror that hung to the side of the bath. She was thinner than usual, with her breasts a full cup size smaller than they used to be. Her dark brown hair hung slightly past her shoulders, highlighting the angles in her face through which her high cheek bones cut. Her wide brown eyes had dark circles under them, and Pansy wondered how much sleep she had gotten in the past week. Not enough. She turned around and sank into the bath, only to hear someone else open the door to the bathroom. She sank down in the bubbles. Wasn’t there a charm on the door that barred someone from entering the room if it was already occupied? The blonde head of Luna Lovegood appeared in the doorway. Pansy stared at her in disbelief. The Ravenclaw girl seemed to have a habit of appearing everywhere Pansy ended up this year. 

“Hello, Pansy,” Luna said, smiling sleepily. “You’re up early! The Marauder's Map told me you were here.” Pansy wondered what a marauder’s map was. Probably something like a nargle or some other of Luna’s creatures. 

“So you decided to come find me in the prefect’s bathroom at 4 in the morning, then? Can I not get one second of privacy?” Pansy’s tone was harsh, but she was secretly very glad to see anyone. She hated being alone after one of her nightmares. The darkness could get far closer to her when she was alone.

“Myrtle said you were crying in your sleep again,” Luna said. Her normally unperturbed face seemed to have a hint of worry. “Are you alright, Pansy?” 

“No.” Her own answer shocked her. Ashamed at having admitted a weakness, she looked down into the bubbles. She was so lonely, and so desperate for someone to talk to that wasn’t connected to Death Eaters or Slytherin that she was confiding in Luna. And she found that she didn’t want to stop herself. She wanted to let herself like Luna. She was so weak, but at least for the moment she didn’t care. She felt a tear well up in the corner of her eye, and she angrily reached up to brush it away. Luna walked to the edge of the bath and sat down. She took Pansy’s head into her lap and gently stroked her hair. 

“I was in the Malfoy Manor when your father died. I was in the basement but I heard about it later. I didn’t know who he was, but they said he was a father. I’m sorry that he was yours,” Luna said. Pansy laid back against Luna and closed her eyes as Luna’s small fingers brushed across her hair. She felt calmer now. Less afraid and less angry. She looked up at Luna.

“He deserved to die. He failed his side of the war and didn’t attempt to help the other side. He was uncommitted and a coward. But I loved him anyways. Could you hand me a towel? I’m going to get out.”   
Luna handed her one of the towels on the large rack beside her and turned away politely so that Pansy could wrap it around herself. She turned back around, and embraced Pansy with both arms, squeezing the shorter girl against her chest. After a moment Pansy broke the embrace. Luna looked at her strangely for a moment. 

“I think I want to kiss you,” she said, a serene look on her face. 

Pansy moved towards her again before she knew what she was doing, and suddenly her lips were on Luna’s lips, and she was dissolving into the blonde girl, forgetting everything like she hoped she would. Her lips were so soft, so strange, just like the rest of her. Pansy’s hands moved over Luna’s body, hungrily. She needed to feel more of the blonde girl. Then all of a sudden she was back in the present. Back with the Ravenclaw blood traitor from the strange family all purebloods looked down upon. She pushed Luna away roughly. 

“That can’t happen again. I have to go.” With that, she grabbed her clothes and rushed out of the bathroom. She heard Luna calling her name but didn’t look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Pansy set about her day with every intention of ignoring Luna Lovegood for the rest of her life. Who did that filthy blood traitor think she was, getting Pansy to kiss her? It was a small moment of weakness, that was all. It didn’t mean anything except that she hadn’t gotten laid in ages. At this point, apparently any woman would do it for her. Loneliness was necessary, Pansy thought. With anything but loneliness, you end up getting hurt. Love and lust don’t last longer than the time it takes to put your clothes back on. It was better that she stopped things with Luna before they could go too far. She was an impenetrable fortress, and no one could influence her emotions or her actions. Pansy tried not to think about how soft Luna’s hands had been as they stroked her hair, or the fire that had filled her veins when they kissed. Those weren’t important. She made her way to the greenhouses, banishing the intrusive thoughts that wouldn’t stop filling her brain. Luna would be in this class. She was studying naturalism, which required herbology and care for magical creatures. Pansy had made sure she would arrive slightly late, so that Lovegood couldn’t choose a spot next to her. Professor Sprouts voice was ringing across the greenhouse, as Pansy chose a spot at one of the tables near the back. 

“Devil’s Snare is a tricky plant to cultivate,” she was saying. “It detests all forms of light, which damage its growth and energy cycles. It is one of the few plants we will deal with this year that does not use photosynthesis. Instead, Devil’s Snare relies on water and a few key nutrients to produce the energy it needs. It tends to grow far underground where less light will reach it. In tunnels, and cave systems, mostly. Gringotts, for example, has large populations of Devil’s Snare as a protection for some of the more expensive vaults. As I’m sure all of you who have done the reading know, Devil’s Snare is an excellent defense mechanism, as it will attach to anything it perceives as living, and strangles its prey within its vines, until it can digest it, not unlike a spider. The Devil’s Snare we will be working with today is in the Forbidden Forest, so if you all would please leave your belongings here, except your wands, and follow me.” Professor Sprout stood up, and there was a clamouring of chairs scraping along the floor as students rose to follow her. Pansy was careful to stay near the back, but of course Luna found her there anyway, dancing back to her side as the class made their way across the grounds towards the dark forest. 

“Hello, Pansy,” Luna said in an infuriatingly cheerful tone. Pansy ignored her, and stared at her feet as she walked. 

“I do hope we don’t see any crumpled snorkacks in the forest. They feed off of misery, you know.” Pansy thought she would make an excellent meal for any snorkacks they came across, but didn’t say anything. If she ignored Luna for long enough, maybe she would disappear. 

“The thestrals that pull the carriages live in here, you know,” she continued, unbothered by the fact that Pansy was ignoring her. “I come here and feed them sometimes. The young ones are particularly wonderful.”

They traipsed through the forest grounds, being careful to avoid tripping on any of the large roots creeping out from the trees. Professor Sprout stopped the group for a moment to hand out a few small green lanterns to students, which she explained were the only light they would be using as they approached the Devil’s Snare. Pansy stared at the light of someone’s lantern in front of her as she walked, pointedly ignoring Luna who was still prattling on about some mythical creature or another. The ideas in that girl’s head were stranger than she had believed possible. Until now. 

“Now today, class, we will simply be tending the vines of the plant,” Professor Sprout said, once she had stopped the precession and gathered them all around a dark, round expanse of vines. “It is very important that you stop moving immediately if you are grabbed by a vine while we are trimming around the edges. If you do this, the plant will leave you alone after a few moments. If you don’t…” her voice trailed off menacingly. 

“Everyone come up and grab a pair of shears. Stay to the edges of the plant, and do not get too close to the center. We will cover that next week.” Pansy and Luna moved forwards to the professor and grabbed shears. Pansy walked around the Devil’s Snare, in between two Hufflepuff students where she knew Luna couldn’t easily follow her. She trimmed the vines near her, making sure that only three leaves were on each vine. Occasionally, one of the tendrils would reach out towards her wrist, but she remained still and calm until they released her. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luna skipping around the Devil’s Snare, possibly trying to get closer to her, when the blonde girl tripped forward and landed near the center of the vines. Pansy’s heart almost stopped as the vines quickly surrounded Luna, pulling her down as they sensed their prey was trapped in their web. Before she knew what she was doing, she had leaped after Luna armed with nothing but her shears, and began chopping at the vines desperately, reaching for the other girl, who remained quite calm. Pansy grabbed Luna, and tried to pull her out of the plant, but now they were both covered in the vines, being squeezed roughly. Pansy felt a vine curl around her neck, and suddenly she was losing air. The pressure increased. Everything was going dark. Suddenly, a bright flash of light appeared and the vines shrank away from her. Other students quickly moved to help Luna and Pansy out of the vortex of plant limbs. Luna was looking at Pansy with an expression that was almost smug. 

“Miss Parkinson, we do not chop up the plants we are tending to. We discussed how to get vines to leave us alone, and Miss Lovegood was remaining still as she was told to do. She would have been fine. 5 points from Slytherin,” Professor Sprout said, sternly. “It’s lucky that I only exposed them to light for a moment or we would have seriously damaged this rare species beyond repair. As it is, we will have to leave it alone for a week. Everyone return to the castle. We will resume our studies with the effects of moonflower next week.”

There were some groans and mumbles from the class. Some of the students looked at Pansy accusingly. Pansy was a little shocked at her own actions. Why had she jumped in after Luna? It couldn’t have been because she cared about the other girl’s safety. She just did it out of instinct. Perhaps she should change her career goals to healer, because it appeared that she had the impulses of someone who risked themselves for others. That had been almost an action of a Gryffindor, she realized, scandalized. But of course, it had just been on instinct and it was a one time occurrence. She brooded on her way back to the castle, trying to stay ahead of Lovegood. That didn’t last for long.

“You tried to save my life,” Luna observed, with a small smile on her lips. 

“I tried to save the plant. Your thrashing about right in its center was clearly hurting it,” Pansy snapped back.

“Of course that must have been it,” Luna agreed. But that infuriating smile was still there. 

“You don’t want me deaaad,” the girl continued, in a sing song voice. “You don’t want me deaaad. You fancy me enough to save me from the evil Devil’s Snare.”

“Oh shut up, Lovegood,” Pansy grumbled. But she couldn’t fight off the grin that was trying to creep onto her face. She turned away from Luna instead, and strode off towards the dungeons.

===================================================================================================================

Pansy awoke the next day and looked at her schedule. Potions, arithmancy, and ancient runes. It was very unlikely that Lovegood would be following her to an of those. Finally, she could catch a break. She had awoken early from nightmares again, but this time she hadn’t even had the energy to leave the room. She had huddled up in her blankets and cried it out instead. Pansy hated crying. Hated being weak. But she had accepted that right now she was weak. And that it wasn’t any use hating herself for crying, so she tried not to. Mostly she succeeded. She wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly got dressed. Her stomach groaned as she realized she wouldn’t have time for breakfast. Pansy headed to the Potions classroom, thanking the Gods that it was so close to her dormitory so she wouldn’t be late. She took a seat next to Draco, who gave her a nod. He really didn’t speak much these days. He looked paler than normal, even. 

“Good morning, Draco,” she tried, tentatively. 

“Morning,” he replied. Well, one word was better than none, she supposed.

Slughorn had started talking at the front of the class, but Pansy couldn’t focus on his words. She looked around the dimly lit classroom, with smoke already rising from the cauldrons. She imagined they wouldn’t be brewing anything on the first day, and whatever was in the cauldrons was just a demonstration of what they would be up to this year. In the hazy room, Pansy imagined she saw shapes in the smoke. She saw faces, figures that were dancing. She squinted to get a better look. She saw girls twirling about and laughing together. So many of them she couldn’t count. A ballroom full of women. Two of them danced closer to her through the smog. She rolled her eyes as she realized that it was herself and Luna. Even in her imagination she couldn’t escape the girl, apparently. What was this growing obsession she was feeling? It was stronger than it had been with Ari, even though she had loved Ari. She certainly didn’t love the Lovegood girl. It was just a sexual obsession, she realized. Maybe if she slept with Luna she would be able to get over her. 

“And this potion here causes visions and delirium,” Slughorn prattled on. “Who can tell me its name?”

Granger raised her hand, of course, unable to contain her know-it-all habits for even a day.

“Yes, Miss Granger?”

“It’s Fool’s Succor, Professor,” Granger said in a voice that was annoyingly sure of herself. “It causes a delirious state in which the drinker believes he is truly happy, and sees the world as he wishes it was, but this state is not reality. Often partakers can become confused, and desperate not to lose the false world they see while drinking the potion. It’s extremely addicting and dangerous.” 

“Very good, as always, Granger, very good. 5 Points to Gryffindor. Now this will be the first potion we brew this year. Make sure to do the reading, which is pages 1-52 in your advanced potions crafting book, and come to class with a sharp mind, because this is a terribly difficult potion to get correct,” Slughorn said. “You are dismissed! But don’t think I’ll take it easy on you all term.”

The flood of students made its way towards the door. 

“I’ll be glad when this is over,” Draco said.

“I will too. Do you know what you’re doing after school is through?” Pansy asked curiously. Draco didn’t talk much about himself these days. Getting any future plans out of him was like pulling teeth.  
“I imagine no one in the wizarding world in Great Britain will be anxious to hire Saint Potter’s enemies, so I’ll probably end up leaving the country. Maybe go teach at Ilvermorny.” Pansy was surprised she had gotten this much out of him. Maybe today was one of his less dark days.

“Teach potions?” 

“Or Defense Against the Dark Arts,” Draco said thoughtfully. “God knows I’ve had enough practice with the Dark Arts to be able to teach students how to defend themselves. Sometimes I wonder if we had had better professors if things would have ended up differently the last few years.”

“I doubt a sixteen year old half trained wizard would have been able to do anything against someone as powerful as the Dark Lord,” Pansy scoffed.

“Potter did,” Draco remarked, “With Granger’s help. We could have too. And we didn’t. I just want future students to feel less… helpless.” 

Pansy was surprised at the amount of emotion Draco was letting out this morning. She wondered if he too had been dealing with the nightmares and how he could have changed the things that happened.  
“I’ll catch you later, Parkinson, I’m going to write to father.”

“See you, Draco.” Pansy turned away and headed towards the kitchens. She was sure she could bully a house elf into making her a late breakfast, if she was persuasive enough. She caught a splash of silver out of the corner of her eye and turned around. Un-fucking-believable, she thought as Luna Lovegood floated towards her.

“Pansy, your head is full of nargles this morning,’ Luna said, those serious blue eyes staring into her own. Her eyes were so beautiful. Hypnotizing even. Two orbs of sky. And now I’m getting poetic, Pansy thought, shaking her head at herself.

“And your head is full of tangles and dirt,” she retorted, angry at herself more than Luna, but taking it out on them both. “Do you sleep in a barn, Lovegood? That would actually explain quite a bit about you and your manners.”

“I sleep in a bed, now, but I’ve stayed in barns before. It’s easy to get caught with a girl in a house, of course. I can be rather loud,” Luna replied, unperturbed. Pansy stared at her for a moment, imagining her naked in a barn with some girl, with Luna moaning as the other girl pleasured her, with Luna on her knees, and Pansy- no. These were dangerous thoughts that could lead nowhere good. Still though, she thought, her eyes taking in every part of Luna’s body, lustfully, the crazier a girl was the better she was in bed. 

“I’ve got to go,” Pansy said a little breathlessly, turning back in the direction of her rooms. Breakfast could wait; she needed to take care of the hungry lust that was filling her body before she made a dreadful mistake and tried something with Lovegood. Thankful again that she had a room to herself, Pansy bounded in and locked the door. She quickly removed her robes, rubbing her hands on her breasts for a moment, before letting one sink between her legs. She gasped a little at her own touch, and how wet she was. How could one sentence from that infuriating girl get her so wet? She stroked herself, gently at first, then rougher, feeling the pleasure of her touch spread through her body. Pansy imagined that it was Luna’s fingers touching her, imagined herself helpless and bound, at the mercy of Luna’s every whim. She reached down with her other hand and thrust two fingers inside of herself, still rubbing her clit. Luna was fucking her, harder and faster now, forcing her to-ahhh. Pansy felt the orgasm rush over her and she moaned loudly. She rode it out for a few more seconds, then collapsed onto her bed. That can not happen again, she thought, but she knew that it would. The burning need between her legs had been growing so much stronger the more she saw Lovegood, and taking care of it herself was the only way she could stave off giving in to the Ravenclaw.


	4. Chapter 4

Pansy awoke in a cold sweat again.  Her heart was beating so rapidly she felt as though it was going to punch through her chest.  She lay in bed silently for a few minutes, hating herself for the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she readjusted to reality. She knew the nightmares weren’t happening to her now.  That part of her life was over.  Pansy was safe as anyone could be at Hogwarts and it was incredibly weak to let something like the past influence her present.  _  Slytherins aren’t weak,  _ she told herself gruffly.   _ If you wanted to be a Hufflepuff you should have done that years ago.  _ As she sat up on her bed, she realized she was shaking like a leaf.  Pansy rolled her eyes at herself and stood up.  She grabbed a set of robes and her wand and headed towards the prefect’s bathroom.  No one would be walking the corridors at 3 in the morning, she knew, so she didn’t bother to wear anything aside from her nightgown, which was rather sheer, she realized, as the cold air nipped at her exposed skin.

 

Pansy wandered down the stone corridors of the dungeon, feeling almost as if she owned the castle at night, with everyone else asleep.  She could strut about wherever she wanted, with only the ghosts to notice her.  Of course she never actually did, but she liked the idea that it was an option.  Her bare feet were cold against the floor as she walked, and she shivered involuntarily.  She usually gave herself more time to prepare before making her trek to the bath, but tonight’s nightmare had been particularly bad.  It had been Pansy on the other side of the Dark Lord’s wand, begging for her life with everything she had, all the while knowing that it was useless.  He was going to kill her there in the dark gardens.  And she was still begging like a dog until the last second she woke up.  Trying not to dwell on it, she focussed on the goosebumps on her arms, and the wandlight emanating from somewhere out in front of her.

 

 _Shit,_ she thought, trying to come up with a good excuse for whoever it was as to why she was out of bed after hours.  Luna Lovegood’s face came into view.   _Shit!_ She thought again.  A cold anger was brewing inside of her.  How dare Lovegood continue to try to talk to her, to show up where she wasn’t wanted at 3 in the morning? Would Pansy never be alone again?  
“Do you ever sleep, blood traitor?” she growled in a low voice, “Got nothing better to do than to stalk a girl you hardly know pathetically around the castle at all hours of the night?”

 

There was that stupid serene smile on Luna’s face again.  Pansy wanted to punch it off.

 

“This time I am actually doing my prefect duties.  Apparently the ghosts have been complaining about second years wandering the corridors and scaring the portraits for fun.  But I’m glad I ran into you, actually.  I wanted to give you something for the full moon.  Full moons bring luck, you know, my father wrote a whole article about it in the Quibbler,” Luna said.  That girl could make a simple explanation turn into a babbling anecdote.  Pansy shook her head, slightly amused, and she felt her anger abate.  There was something about Luna that made it very difficult to stay angry with her.  Probably just because she was pretty.

 

“Full moons bring madness and werewolves, Luna.  There is nothing lucky about them,” she retorted.  Pansy couldn’t help but admire her outlook on the world, though.  There was nothing ordinary to Luna. A full moon was apparently an occasion for presents, imaginary creatures liked to inhabit the spaces between people’s brains and yet it was perfectly ordinary to have a wandlit conversation with a girl in a nightgown at 3 a.m. She was suddenly all too aware of how much the nightgown revealed.  It didn’t even come to her knees, and the material was partly see through.  She felt the fabric brush against her nipples slightly and blushed.

 

“The moonlight has a strange power that can be used for luck or for evil,” Luna explained knowledgeably.  “But it can be a source for great good, in the right hands.”

 

“I’m guessing you’re the right hands?” Pansy asked, rolling her eyes.  Luna simply gave her that stupid smile again.  

 

“Alright, I’ll bite,” she grumbled. “What did you want to give me, Luna?”

 

Luna’s usually unreadable face had a hint of mischief in it.  

 

“This,” she said simply, as she gently pushed Pansy up against the wall of the corridor and kissed her.  Pansy pulled back in surprise, but there was nowhere to go with the wall behind her.  She wanted to stop, really she did.  But Luna was so soft, her body pressed up against Pansy’s.  Her lips moved with Pansy’s as if they were speaking a long dead language, an intricate dance that only they could understand.  Luna’s hands found her breasts in the dark, and Pansy heard a wand clatter to the floor.  She moaned as Luna squeezed her breasts gently, teasing her nipples which had already been hard in the cold air. Pansy felt the familiar feeling of arousal build in her loins and she couldn’t fight it right now.  Not when she was so vulnerable.  

 

She melted against Luna and for just a moment, she let go of the parts of herself that held her back.  She was simply a collection of sensations in the dark.  A rush of hair against her neck, the grip of hands exploring her body, a warm breath on her face.  From far away Pansy heard the sounds of gasping intercut with moans, and from somewhere in her head, realized they were hers.  Feeling all over Luna’s body, her hands lingering along her waist and pulling her close, she revelled in the beauty of the other girl’s body.  Her strange clothes and long hair usually hid its shape, but somehow in the dark Pansy felt the perfection of her curves on Luna’s thin body, standing out even more because of how small she was otherwise.  Everything about her was turning Pansy on to the point where she had lost control of herself. 

Suddenly Luna pulled away again.  She smiled at Pansy again and murmured, “I thought so.”

 

“Don’t stop,” Pansy said, unable to keep the slightly pleading tone out of her voice.

 

“It would be bad luck to keep going tonight.  Full moons attract nargles, and I wouldn’t want you to make bad decisions with a fuzzy head,” Luna explained matter of factly. Pansy reached towards her in frustration, but Luna easily skipped out of her grasp and down the corner.

 

“Steal the moon’s energy for your luck, Pansy,” she sang as she skipped away.  Pansy leaned against the wall in shock.  She had just kissed Looney Lovegood, and begged for more.  There was no pushing her away or anything to redeem herself this time.  If Luna hadn’t stopped her, she would have gone way too far. Pansy was going to have to get a grip on herself.  This morning she would go to the library to research potions that helped with self control.  If she couldn’t manage herself in a drug free way she would cheat a little bit.  That was what being a Slytherin was all about.  But first, she would go to the prefects bathroom, draw herself a bubbly bath and tame the fire between her legs with her fingers and thoughts of Luna naked under the full moon.


	5. Chapter 5

She managed to avoid Luna for the next few days. Most of her free time was spend brooding with Draco in the Slytherin common room. He didn’t talk much these days, but Pansy could tell that he didn’t like to be alone. She didn’t either, really. It was easier to fight away the demons with someone by your side for some reason. They studied together in a comfortable silence, occasionally cutting it with a remark or a question. Draco seemed bent on studying defense against the dark arts, now, devouring all of his books and homework on the subject with a fervor that usually only Hermione Granger could manage. Pansy wasn’t required to take DADA this year, and was all too happy to give up the subject. But Slughorn was keeping them busy with potions and advanced theory of brewing, and herbology included rotations of caring for some of the more delicate plants, so her thoughts were pleasantly distracted by an ungodly amount of work. 

Today, though, she had herbology lecture again, and she’d be face to face with Luna. She wasn’t sure how to handle the girl anymore. Afterall, Luna had come on to her, but pulled away before. She probably wasn’t actually interested in Pansy. Probably just moon madness, which would affect a crazy Luna more than anyone else. I’ll be polite if she speaks to me, but I won’t speak to her first, she decided. That seemed the path of least resistance. She stood outside of the greenhouse for a few more minutes anyways, to soak up the sunshine and gather her nerve. Lovegood shouldn’t have the power to make her this nervous. 

She stepped into the greenhouse, a few minutes late as she had planned, and took a seat in the back. Professor Sprout was mumbling on about proper care of devil’s snare, and the precautions one should take when dealing with such a delicate endangered plant. She was glaring pointedly at Pansy as she spoke. Pansy couldn’t help but blush a little. Her impulsive actions had caused quite the scene, not that a plant as dangerous of devil’s snare could actually be in any danger from a shear-wielding 18 year old. Sprout was apparently adding care of the specimen in the woods to the 7th and 8th year rotation duties. Under her direct, constant supervision so that no more accidents could occur. She moved on to discussing the magical properties of the moonflower and Pansy’s eyes glazed over. She did not catch enough sleep last night to focus on a lesson as dull as Binns’. Instead, she felt herself focusing on the back of Luna Lovegood’s head. The sunlight shining into the greenhouse seemed to find sections of her hair that would be perfect for reflecting off. Her hair shimmered and glowed, as if it were underwater. It was mesmerizing. Pansy was hypnotized by the patterns of the light, which were changing constantly.

Before she knew it, her classmates were packing up their things, and she snapped to attention at the noises of chairs being pulled back and students racing for the exit. They were heading back towards the castle, though, not the forest, so Pansy assumed class had only consisted of a lecture today. Lucky for her, as she had only heard about the first ten minutes. Luna caught up to her, of course. She walked faster towards the castle, not looking at the blonde girl bouncing beside her.

“I think it’s quite unfair that Professor Sprout wants us to spend at least 10 hours a week tending our assigned plants, don’t you think? At least you were assigned to the tentacula. That should be nice,” Luna babbled. So she had been assigned to the venomous tentacula. That was interesting information that she had missed in class. Luna was right; that would be nice. Tentaculas were relatively easy to care for. Sprout was probably worried about her more difficult plants being sheared at. Pansy felt a small rush of shame at the memory. Her heart was already racing being this close to Luna, who of course was acting like everything was normal and she hadn’t rejected Pansy a few nights ago.

“I’m sure we will all be able to manage,” Pansy replied stiffly. Then she sighed. It wasn’t Luna’s fault that she had stopped the progression of things. Maybe Pansy was a lousy snogger. Maybe Luna had realized that the daughter of a death eater and a blood traitor would never work out together. That seemed far more likely than the moon affecting their snogging. 

She continued more politely, “What plant were you assigned to?”

“The Devil’s Snare, of course,” Luna said. “My evenings are going to be taken up for months. Which is good, I suppose. Being outside keeps the nargles at bay most of the time.”

“I see,” Pansy said, pursing her lips. Every time she started to like the girl, Lovegood said something that was a blatant reminder of her dottiness. Two years ago Pansy would never have talked to someone as mad as her. She would have laughed at her talk of nargles with Draco and Crabbe and Goyle, and hexed the girl behind her back for daring to be so different. But now, now she almost found Luna’s oddities endearing. And she hated herself for that. She faced forwards towards the castle again, determined not to look at the Ravenclaw again. 

“You know the moon is waning now, Pansy,” Luna said with a small smile. “We could always pick things up where we left them.” 

Pansy’s heart skipped a beat again. Stupid, strange, loopy Luna Lovegood had actually stopped kissing her because of the moon being full. Pansy wasn’t necessarily a bad snogger, and Luna must not care about the differences in their statuses. For a moment, she was gripped by an incredible joy. Then she remembered she had promised herself that she would stop following this dangerous path with Luna and her spirits fell again. 

“I think that would be unwise,” she said slowly. 

“Well, really everything is unwise,” Luna returned, unbothered, “It’s unwise to live because you will eventually die. And the sooner you die the shorter the pain for those who know you exists. It is unwise to light a fire, because it will destroy the wood. It’s unwise to love someone because they could break your heart. Yet people manage to do those things every day. It may be unwise for us to go to the room of requirements and have sex, but it’s what both of us want.”

Pansy considered this. She wasn’t sure what the room of requirements was, or if it was even real knowing Luna. But the rest made a sort of sense. And from her comments today it seemed like Luna might only be interested in fucking. She could do just fucking; she had done it before. Pansy was momentarily sad at the thought of that being all she had with Luna. And was surprised at her reaction. After all, she had lusted after Luna since the term began. She desperately wanted to get in her robes. And she shouldn’t have feelings for the girl. She DIDN’T have feelings for the girl. That would be far too emotional and stupid for Pansy to have done. 

Luna reached over and took her hand, stroking it softly with her thumb. Pansy felt a familiar flush of warmth and she felt blood rushing away from her brain rapidly. She knew that she didn’t have much of a choice now as far as fucking Luna went. And somehow that was a relief, to have her body decide for her. She let Luna lead her up a few flights of stairs, until they were standing before an open expanse of wall. Luna released her and started pacing. Pansy stared at her, curiously. Her mind was slightly fogged by anticipation, and she felt goosebumps rise to her arms at the thought of what was to come. Suddenly, a door appeared in the wall. Luna grabbed her hand again, that vacant smile on her face. Pansy felt herself being led into the room as if in a dream and saw a large bed in the middle of the room.  
“See? The moon brings luck to those who wait after all.”

Pansy found herself trembling again, but this time for quite a different reason. Luna’s hand was warm as she led Pansy into the room. She turned towards the Slytherin and gave her a reassuring smile. Pansy’s heart melted a little. No feelings, she reminded herself, this is just sex. Luna reached up and stroked her cheek. She grabbed the back of Pansy’s head and pulled her in to meet Luna’s lips. The kiss was gentle at first, the way Pansy expected Luna to kiss, but grew in ferocity, with the need of both girls melding together, becoming overpowering. Luna’s tongue was in her mouth, invading her greedily. They were pressed up so tightly against one another that Pansy found it hard to breathe, or maybe just the proximity of the Lovegood girl was taking her breath away. 

Their breasts pressed together, rubbing against each other as they kissed. Luna’s hands reached down to Pansy’s ass, pulling them even closer together as she continued to probe Pansy’s tongue with her own. She squeezed Pansy tightly, and Pansy felt another burning wave of arousal hit her. She needed more of Luna and this time she wasn’t going to let her get away. Luna was moving them backwards slowly, and Pansy followed her like they were dancing. Suddenly, she was being pushed onto the bed, and her head snapped back as she hit it. Luna was on top of her, straddling her. She grabbed Pansy’s hands and held them above her head against the bed as she kissed her. Luna’s mouth was on her neck, kissing her and biting her gently. She moaned slightly, leaning into the contact. Luna bit down harder on the part of Pansy’s neck that made her moan, releasing a larger moan, in a mix of pain and pleasure. She continued down the trail of Pansy’s neck stopping again once she got to her collar bone. Pansy was suddenly aware of the fact that they were both still clothed, and pushed against Luna’s grip to try to take her robes off. Luna smiled serenely and pushed her hands back into the bed.

“Pansy, good things come to those who wait, remember?” she asked, leaning into Pansy’s face. Luna’s smell was driving her crazy. She smelled like a forest; a dark, rich smell of earthy musk with hints of flowers and rain thrown in. Pansy lifted her head up to meet Luna’s lips again, but Luna pulled away from her again, holding her gently in place as Pansy let out a frustrated groan. 

“The art of foreplay is very important, you know,” Luna said, with the hint of a frown on her face. “I’ll show you.”

She returned to her place at Pansy’s collarbone, kissing along it until she found another spot that made Pansy moan, this time accompanied by a slight twitch of the Slytherin’s body underneath her. Luna leaned forward again, letting Pansy kiss her. She slid one of her kneeling legs in between Pansy’s, and rubbed her thigh up against Pansy. Pansy let out a low gasp, followed by a groan as Luna gave her a taste of what she was craving. Gently, Luna rubbed her through her robes. Pansy was only a collection of feelings again. Soft lips on her own, hard hands on her wrists, light pressure around her pussy. Luna moved to straddle Pansy again, releasing her wrists. She caressed Pansy’s breasts softly, teasing her. Pansy let out another moan. She normally wasn’t this loud, but Luna knew exactly how to push her buttons somehow.   
Finally, Luna pulled her to her knees, and reached for her robes. There was a fumble of fingers as they undressed one another, pulling off robes and underclothes as quickly as they could to reach each others’ bodies underneath. Somehow they succeeded and they intertwined, again, naked bodies finding one another on top of the blankets. Pansy reached up to touch Luna’s breasts, sending another shiver down her spine as she did. There was nothing as soft as Luna that she had ever felt. Softness that was somehow unyielding, she thought. Luna’s hands were everywhere. Pansy felt her gentle touch all over her own skin. She explored Luna’s body, letting her hands run through her long blonde hair, down to the skin between her breasts, following the line of her navel to the light blonde hair between her legs. Pansy loved the idea that Luna didn’t shave. She was as natural as a willow tree. Luna’s hand was between Pansy’s legs too, teasing her, and not quite touching the wetness that Pansy had become. Deliriously, Pansy thrust her hips into Luna’s hand, begging for contact. 

She lightly ran a hand across Luna’s slit and felt how wet she was, eliciting a gasp from the other girl. Suddenly a rush of pleasure hit her and Luna was giving her the contact she had been dying for. Luna was rubbing her clit and her touch wasn’t gentle anymore. Pansy moaned lustily and started to rub Luna as well. They became a mess of writhing flesh, dissolving into the touches of the other.

“Fingers,” Pansy gasped pleadingly. “Inside me. Please.”

Luna’s answer was to thrust two fingers into Pansy’s pussy with her other hand while continuing to rub her clit. Pansy gasped, feeling about to explode. She pushed the feeling back, wanting this to last with Luna for as long as she could make it. She grabbed Luna and flipped her onto her back. Pansy moved to get between her face between Luna’s legs, and gave her a long slow lick down her pussy. Luna lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. Pansy flicked her clit with her tongue, letting a finger slip inside of Luna. The other girl was so wet that it slid in with no resistance at all. Luna moaned, grabbing Pansy’s dark hair and forcing her tongue into her pussy. Pansy licked her and fucked her with her fingers for what could have been hours or seconds, she had lost all sense of time. She loved Luna’s taste, and it was making her even hornier. 

Suddenly, Luna pulled her around, so that her cunt was over Luna’s face. She kept licking Lunas, groaning as Luna began to finger her again. Pansy felt Luna’s hot breath around her pussy, with two fingers already inside her. Luna took her clit into her mouth and started sucking on it. The two of them pleasured each other with their tongues and fingers until Pansy couldn’t think anymore. She was completely caught up in Luna, and all that existed right now was pleasure of riding her face. She felt herself approaching the edge again and this time, let herself fall over it, collapsing against her loved in a lewd moan as her legs shook and she sank into the ocean of pleasure. Beneath her, she felt Luna trembling and she realized Luna was cumming too. She increased the pace of her thrusting fingers as she felt Luna’s pussy contract around her in her orgasm. 

Panting, Pansy rolled off the blonde to try to recover. Luna still had her eyes closed, and that vacant smile was back on her face. Sweat was glistening on her naked body, making her look even more ethereal. She reached over and took Pansy’s hand again, laying apart from her with only one point of contact now. They both breathed heavily on the now soaking wet mattress as they regained their composures. Pansy still couldn’t think. She had never been fucked like that before. She wasn’t even sure what Luna had done to make her feel like that, but she knew that she would never be able to be with anyone else without thinking of the Ravenclaw. After a few moments, Luna rolled over to her and brushed a piece of Pansy’s hair from her face. She stared deeply into the Slytherin’s eyes, and said nine words that in the emotional heat of her post-orgasm glow made Pansy’s eyes water up.

“I think I could fall in love with you.”


	6. Chapter 6

Pansy didn’t sleep that night. There was a battle raging inside her between all of the different aspects of herself. Loving women wasn’t wrong, she knew that. Although it was frowned upon by pureblood families that wanted to continue their bloodline, the rest of the wizarding world had long ago accepted homosexuality. Unfortunately, she had been raised by purebloods. She had been brought up with the fantasies of marrying a nice pureblood man someday, and having children with him. Pansy still had deep fantasies of having a family and raising her own children. As much as she tried not to, it was hard to shake the vision of her future that she had grown up with. But she knew it could never work. There was no way she could ever be romantically attracted to a man enough to have a happy marriage. 

Getting romantically involved with someone like Luna, though, that was dangerous. Luna came from a family of bloodtraitors. Not to mention she was an oddity herself, and quite probably mentally unstable. Although she didn’t actually appear to be as crazy as her peers made her out to be. Just very eccentric. A pureblood witch shouldn’t get involved with someone who was that eccentric. It was difficult enough being a lesbian, and adding an insane partner to the mix would be far too difficult to deal with. Her reputation would be entirely destroyed. Not to mention Luna’s reputation. Luna had been on Potter’s side during the war against the Dark Lord. Pansy had been at best undecided, at worst seen as a sympathizer with the Death Eaters, as her father was one. The magical community was sure to see her as evil after that outburst about turning over Harry Potter. What if she caused all of Luna’s friends to abandon her? Or what if Luna ended up leaving her in the end after all of the pressures of society?

There were too many problems between the two of them. There was no way they would ever survive as a couple, and if they tried to date the heartbreak would only be more terrible when it actually happened. Still, Pansy thought about Luna, and the feel of her soft skin against her own. She thought about how right it had been, the two of them moving together in a synchronized harmony, dark hair against light. Dark heart with light. Luna had such a lightness about her. She made Pansy believe that she could be light too. Luna didn’t treat her like a pariah. Luna saw her, through and through, and still somehow seemed to accept her for what she was. Pansy was once again jealous of Luna’s simple view of the world. To Pansy there were less grey areas, and more shoulds and shouldn’ts. She had a very specific code that she felt she needed to adhere to and she was less open to gambling her heart away on a relationship that had too many negative influences to ever work out. 

But. She felt at peace with Luna. She felt good with Luna. Luna brought out the best side of Pansy and she knew it. On the days she talked to her she didn’t have as many nightmares. She wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to give that up. Maybe they could just be friends with benefits. That sometimes worked, right? With two mature mentally stable people. Of which Pansy was neither, she could admit it. She sighed at the conundrum and gave up on the notion of sleep. It was around six and she would have to get up soon anyways. She got out of bed and grumpily slid her robes on. She grabbed her books and headed towards the common room.

The room was empty, except for Draco Malfoy who was staring emptily into the unlit fireplace. He nodded to her as she sat down beside him. She glared into the fireplace as well, blaming it for her dilemma as it was the easiest thing in the room to blame. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, brooding over their lives. Draco spoke first, shattering the silence. 

“You’re up early,” he said. He didn’t say it in a way that asked for an explanation, and she loved him for that. She knew he’d seen her walking hand in hand with Luna towards the Room of Requirements yesterday, and he didn’t ask her any questions about that either. They were the kind of friends that sat in an empty common room in silence. She gained a great sense of companionship when she was with him. They comforted each other without having to speak. 

“You are too,” Pansy stated. She tried to work up a smile but she was too distracted.

“Have you done the Potions homework yet?” he asked.

“Sixteen inches of parchment on the uses of boomslang skin? It’s too boring to bear thinking about. I’ll write it before potions.” Draco gave her a smirk.

“You realize potions is in two hours?” 

“That gives me another hour and a half to procrastinate,” she retorted. She hadn’t worked on any homework last night. A slight wave of anxiety hit her. There was lot to work on. 

“Well, Procrastinating Parkinson, if you’d like to you can look over mine.” He handed her a scroll written in his small, neat handwriting. She murmured her thanks and pulled out her own quill and parchment. The quiet closed over them again, as Pansy scribbled together a last-minute attempt at an essay, cursing herself for how little she had studied for Potions this term. Beside her, Draco was idly levitating two of the chess pieces from the board on the table in front of them. She grinned a little as she saw that he was making the knight do unspeakable things to the queen. Eventually, she finished up her paper and place it into her bag. 

On impulse she turned to Draco and said, “I fucked Lovegood yesterday.” He rose an eyebrow.

“Lovegood? Did she love good?” he asked with a mockingly serious expression. 

“Oh, ha ha, Malfoy,” she said sourly. “She did, though. It was amazing.”

“Well done, Pansy. I’ve been telling you that you need to get laid for ages. I saw you two together yesterday and I thought you might be getting lucky,” he said. Pansy felt a small wave of relief. The old Draco would probably be scandalized that she had slept with a dotty idiot like Luna, not to mention a bloodtraitor. 

“I have to end things, though. It would be unwise to keep seeing her. We’re too different.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself. Life is too short to be afraid of everything.” She stared at him incredulously.

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?” He gave her that ghost of a smirk again.

“Fine, be miserable. No skin off my back.” Pansy sulkily gathered her things and walked with him towards the potions classroom. Draco saw Luna before she did, and nudged her. The blonde girl was waiting for her outside one of the dungeons with a wide grin on her face. 

“See you in potions,” he said neutrally. Pansy slowed her gait as she approached the other girl, gathering her resolve. She was going to end things. She had the long list of reasons for doing so tucked in her head. She was going to end things.

“Pansy!” Luna said simply, leaning up against the wall. At the sound of her voice, Pansy forgot all of her reasons. She forgot all of her resolve and the decision she’d spent all night coming to. She just heard Luna’s voice and let it fill her world. Rolling her eyes at herself, she stepped into the other girl, grabbed her waist and kissed her.  
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Pansy woke up in Luna’s arms smiling. She pulled the blonde’s arms tighter around her in the darkness and felt Luna’s body crushed up against hers, sharing the sleepy warmth of the bed. She hadn’t had any nightmares for the past few weeks. Pansy didn’t care if Luna was a good idea or not anymore. Luna was hers. The sex had only gotten better. Pansy shuddered a little involuntarily at the thought of some of the kinks they had tried. She hadn’t known there were so many ways to use a wand. Or that she’d crave them all so much. Luna had taken to sleeping in Pansy’s room with her. At first Pansy had grumbled about it, out of habit, but she grew to love sleeping with someone beside her. It made everything a little bit better.

Luna stirred in her sleep a little, snuggling in closer to Pansy. Pansy thought that she could lay like this forever and never want to do anything else again. She couldn’t remember ever being this happy before. Something about Luna’s weird habits had captured her heart and fixed it. Suddenly a hissing sound came from the door. A beautiful viper patronus appeared, regally slithering across the tiled floors. 

“Pansssy, your mother and uncle ssssomehow found out about you and Luna,” the snake hissed in Draco’s voice. “They came to the Ssslytherin common room looking for you. It sseemss that they are out for blood. Be careful. They went to the Great Hall to ssspeak with McGonnagall. They blame her for not dissscouraging your behavior.”

She jumped up with a start as the viper disappeared. Her mother had found out. Her heart sank instantly. Even though she was an adult, she still relied on her mother’s hospitality and good graces to survive at the moment. Her mother could end this relationship just by threatening to cut Pansy off. Luna’s eyes were wide and awake. 

“Family is the people you choose to be around, Pansy,” she said solemnly, “Not just the ones that we are blood related to. You don’t need your mother. You don’t need anyone but yourself, really. You are stronger than she is. Don’t forget that.” 

Pansy looked at her pleadingly, begging her to understand that it may not be that simple. 

“It is that simple, lover,” Luna said, reading her mind. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, which betrayed a hint of fear. “It can be this simple. It can just be you and me.”

Maybe Luna was right,Pansy thought. She had never stood up to her mother before, but she knew there was nothing in the world more important to her than Luna. She never thought she would have to sacrifice the family that she had left, but maybe she would be willing to.

She walked back to Luna and sat next to her on the bed, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

“It can be this simple,” Pansy repeated, trying to get herself to believe it. “Or, we could just stay here, never leave and never have to deal with this.”

Luna laughed softly. 

“You can’t run from the past without facing it first,” she stated mystically. “That’s how you get crumpled snorkacks to hunt you down and eat your emotions.” Pansy shook her head, amused despite her terror.

“Come with me, then,” she said, rising. Luna nodded and they quickly slipped their robes on. Luna grabbed her hand and they started towards the door. Pansy noticed that the other girl’s hand was the only thing keeping her standing up. Her legs trembled, and she felt she was going to be sick. Deep breaths, she thought. Think about Luna. Think about Luna. Students were milling about, whispering behind their hands as they saw the two girls holding hands and walking down the corridor. Luna didn’t seem to notice them, but Pansy couldn’t stop noticing them. This would be a difficult path, being with Luna. There would always be the points and stares. The quick glances away. She wondered if she would ever get used to it. Luna, Luna, Luna, she chanted, and Luna gave a small yelp as Pansy squeezed her hand even more tightly. 

She clung tightly to her anchor as they approached the Great Hall. They ceiling was covered in clouds today, as gray as a tombstone. Her tombstone, once her family was done with her. Pansy heard her mother’s screeching voice as she approached the headmistress’s table at the back of the hall. 

“YOU ALLOW BLOOD TRAITORS TO ENGAGE IN UNNATURAL BEHAVIORS WITH PUREBLOODS, TAINTING FAMILIES THAT HAVE BEEN PURE FOR GENERATIONS. YOU BRING A GREAT EVIL UPON THIS PLACE, MINERVA MCGONAGALL, AND YOU SHALL NOT BE ALLOWED TO GET AWAY WITH IT. I’M PULLING MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THIS IMMORAL DUNGEON AND SENDING HER TO BEAUXBATON!” her mother screamed. Her face was red, and her hair was sticking up at odd angles. Pansy thought about how put together she usually was and gulped. Her uncle stood beside her, looking a bit green. It was clear that this wasn’t his fight. She reluctantly allowed Luna to lead her forward, hoping the woman wouldn’t notice her yet.

“Students that are overage are permitted to behave however they would like, Madame Parkinson,” McGonagall said through pursed lips. “I will not stand in the way of an adult witch who would like to follow a different path than the one her death eater parents planned for her.”

For once Pansy was incredibly grateful for the headmistress’s no-nonsense strictness. She noticed Pansy, and gave her a curt but almost satisfied nod. Pansy thought this might be the most kind gesture McGonagall had ever given her. At McGonagall’s nod, Madame Parkinson turned around to see where she was looking. As she caught sight of Pansy and Luna her eyes narrowed.

“You,” she hissed at Luna, pulling out her wand and advancing forward, “What did you do to my daughter? Do you have her imperiused? Did you slip her a love potion? My daughter is no dyke. You undo it this instant or I will hex you to the end of time.”

Her wand flew out of her hand as McGonagall disarmed her.

“How DARE you threaten students in my school?” she asked, puffing out her chest. “How-”

“I can handle her, Professor,”Pansy interrupted her, with a shaky voice. McGonagall didn’t lower her wand, but allowed Pansy to step forward.

“Mother, Luna Lovegood didn’t do anything to me. She’s not the first woman I’ve been with. I’ve fucked many before her. Nobody made me a dyke, mother, and you can’t speak to my girlfriend that way.” Pansy had meant to sound defiant, but her voice came out a squeak. 

Luna squeezed her hand in reassurance and Pansy continued, “There was no need to come to Hogwarts to make a spectacle of yourself. I don’t want to have anything to do with you if this is the way you are going to treat my friends and professors now. If you would still like to communicate with me, please do so by letter while I am at school.” Her voice grew a little stronger as she spoke, even as her mother’s face turned purple at her words. 

Her Uncle Romulus turned to Madame Parkinson timidly and said, “Persia, if this unnaturalness makes the girl happy, perhaps we should let her have it. There are other ways to procure an heir, and she is one of the last of the new generation left. Family is everything.” Her mother lividly took her Uncle’s wand and pointed it at Luna.

“Incend-” and then she was on her back, with ropes covering her body. 

“The ministry will be here soon to deal with this,” McGonagall said distastefully. “In the meantime, Mr. Parkinson, I suggest that you get out of here before you get yourself into the same fate as your sister-in-law.”  
Her uncle scurried from the hall avoiding her gaze. Luna stroked her hair comfortingly, spinning her around. And then Luna was kissing her, in front of the students eating breakfast, and her mother, and McGonagall. And she was everything that Pansy wanted. She heard clapping around them and realized that the students were clapping for her, well her and Luna. She opened her eyes in amazement, not letting go of her hold on Luna, or letting her lips pull apart. For a moment she could have sworn she saw McGonagall clapping too, a small smile on her lips. They had put on quite the performance. 

“Room of Requirements?” she whispered into Luna’s ear.

“If you insist on privacy,” Luna said with a grin, leading the way out of the hall as cheers sounded behind them. It was going to be an interesting year.


End file.
